ZoeRox

Sending the wrong message ?

41 posts in this topic

I've never read any posts in this section and probably never will. The subject does not interest me. However, my eye was caught by the management intro which rather implies that male wearers are more likely to write porno fantasies and be 'inconsiderate' than the rest of the membership. It struck me as a bit harsh. Do male wearers need to be warned about this? I see unpleasantness from trolls who clearly have no interest in nylon, stockings or lingerie. Unpleasantness for fun is why they are here. Just saying......

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Hi Zoe and welcome to your first post in this forum...Unfortunately a lot of people consider cd as being weird, after all it's only clothing...We nearly always get branded being gay or bi and to write porno fantasies too is extremely harsh, I wish all these bigots would get off their high horse as everyone has they're own fantasies whatever as long as they're not harming anyone...No we don't need to be warned as you've said there are some members on here who don't have any interest in this forum...

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I agree with all the comments for me its just about the pleasure of dressing and occasionally meeting new like minded friends male and female?

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Hi Willingu...Thanks for your constructive comments...Best wishes...

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I must admit, I do think I am a bit weird for wearing woman's clothing, but I definitely do not write porno stories and am definitely not into porno fantasies, I find them equally as weird. I just like dressing up, the funny thing is that when dressed I look a lot younger. I really like buying the clothes and shoes and seeing what they look like. I do it totally in private, my wife died two years ago, so who do I hurt?

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6 minutes ago, ruby said:

I must admit, I do think I am a bit weird for wearing woman's clothing, but I definitely do not write porno stories and am definitely not into porno fantasies, I find them equally as weird. I just like dressing up, the funny thing is that when dressed I look a lot younger. I really like buying the clothes and shoes and seeing what they look like. I do it totally in private, my wife died two years ago, so who do I hurt?

If it floats your boat Ruby you go ahead and enjoy yourself, I don't have any problems with it either. 

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2 hours ago, ruby said:

I must admit, I do think I am a bit weird for wearing woman's clothing, but I definitely do not write porno stories and am definitely not into porno fantasies, I find them equally as weird. I just like dressing up, the funny thing is that when dressed I look a lot younger. I really like buying the clothes and shoes and seeing what they look like. I do it totally in private, my wife died two years ago, so who do I hurt?

 

2 hours ago, ruby said:

I must admit, I do think I am a bit weird for wearing woman's clothing, but I definitely do not write porno stories and am definitely not into porno fantasies, I find them equally as weird. I just like dressing up, the funny thing is that when dressed I look a lot younger. I really like buying the clothes and shoes and seeing what they look like. I do it totally in private, my wife died two years ago, so who do I hurt?

 

2 hours ago, ruby said:

I must admit, I do think I am a bit weird for wearing woman's clothing, but I definitely do not write porno stories and am definitely not into porno fantasies, I find them equally as weird. I just like dressing up, the funny thing is that when dressed I look a lot younger. I really like buying the clothes and shoes and seeing what they look like. I do it totally in private, my wife died two years ago, so who do I hurt?

Hi Ruby...I don't understand why you're feeling weird which you shouldn't do it annoys me that people wearing the opposite clothing isn't a problem, the problem is the majority of people who think we're strange !!! Each to their own it's only clothing and if you look at other members on here who are extremely lucky their partners are happy ...It's impossible to lose someone you love and you're not hurting anyone...Best wishes and I hope that helps...

 

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life is full of flavour, so putting people in pigeon holes is worthless. all people have their desires and wants if it doesnt hurt anybody who gives a fuck

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Going against the flow to say that yes, the warning is needed. I'm glad it's there because, as others have pointed out, we're already classified as deviants by many. I have encountered too many online cross dressing fetishists to know that there would be a steady stream of certain talk in this forum (or worse, pictures!)

Angela

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Do I have sexual  fantasies?

Yes.

If those fantasies were to be set down in print or acted out on film would that be classified as pornography?

I'm sure it would.

But I'm sure plenty of people have fantasies that don't involve crossdressing and I don't see why if we require a warning they don't. Especially seeing the treatment some real ladies receive in the chat room here.

Thank you Zoe for mentioning this.

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20 hours ago, ZoeRox said:

I've never read any posts in this section and probably never will. The subject does not interest me. However, my eye was caught by the management intro which rather implies that male wearers are more likely to write porno fantasies and be 'inconsiderate' than the rest of the membership. It struck me as a bit harsh. Do male wearers need to be warned about this? I see unpleasantness from trolls who clearly have no interest in nylon, stockings or lingerie. Unpleasantness for fun is why they are here. Just saying......

100% agree. been saying this for ages.

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On 29/12/2017 at 10:28 AM, ZoeRox said:

I've never read any posts in this section and probably never will. The subject does not interest me. However, my eye was caught by the management intro which rather implies that male wearers are more likely to write porno fantasies and be 'inconsiderate' than the rest of the membership. It struck me as a bit harsh. Do male wearers need to be warned about this? I see unpleasantness from trolls who clearly have no interest in nylon, stockings or lingerie. Unpleasantness for fun is why they are here. Just saying......

Little difference between the trolls who frequent this forum and any of the other trolls on the other SHQ forums.  Some of them will be the same people.  

They're equally as rude, offensive, and obnoxious, as well as being equally capable of delving into pornographic fantasies.

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4 minutes ago, Dayna Stewartson said:

Little difference between the trolls who frequent this forum and any of the other trolls on the other SHQ forums.  Some of them will be the same people.  

They're equally as rude, offensive, and obnoxious, as well as being equally capable of delving into pornographic fantasies.

So very true, Dayna.

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On 29/12/2017 at 10:28 AM, ZoeRox said:

... the management intro which rather implies that male wearers are more likely to write porno fantasies and be 'inconsiderate' than the rest of the membership.

In 2008, when David migrated the old forums to the IPS hosted versions we use today, Trans (or male wearer) awareness was a fraction of what it is now, which may explain the forum intro.

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I'm thinking like Dayna. 

Vivi

Edited by Vivi-Ann

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I rarely post these days.  When I first started here years ago, there was a sense of community even among the non wearers.  The trolls came and moods changed against those of us who find inner peace wearing "women's" clothes.  I decided to bail out.  I do thank Dayna, Penelope and other regulars for standing up to the bullies.  There may be a place for pornographic fantasies but it is not here.

 

Erica xx

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5 hours ago, Dayna Stewartson said:

Little difference between the trolls who frequent this forum and any of the other trolls on the other SHQ forums.  Some of them will be the same people.  

They're equally as rude, offensive, and obnoxious, as well as being equally capable of delving into pornographic fantasies.

Yeah, is the idea that somehow our community are over represented in the porn fantasy statistics? I think if someone actually looked at how big the porn industry is they might reasonably conclude that males , regardless of their gender identity,  like fantasizing about porn.  So why single this community out for trolling and so forth. It's bullshit.

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18 hours ago, Dayna Stewartson said:

Little difference between the trolls who frequent this forum and any of the other trolls on the other SHQ forums.  Some of them will be the same people.  

They're equally as rude, offensive, and obnoxious, as well as being equally capable of delving into pornographic fantasies.

Spot on Dayna.

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Well of course all walks of life have fantasies but here's why I think our forum needs a little extra nudge towards decorum: if someone posts something off-colour in any of the other forums he'd be set upon and verbally thrashed. In this forum it would simply sit there until someone reported it.

After rebuffing some guy that tried to pick me up once he responded "Then WHY are you dressed like a woman?" Most people don't get us, they don't understand why we do what we do: it could only be sexual! Letting people know that we aren't here for lurid pleasure is a step we need to endure if we desire, in any fashion, for people to look at us as we want to be seen. (And I look forward to receiving fewer horrible photos.)

Edited by ConiferousGloom

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While I have some sympathy for what you're saying Conifer, I'm not sure that I entirely agree with you.

I think you're right when you say that most people don't get us. I think a lot of us don't get us! I certainly can't explain why I and others like me felt the need to try on women's clothing at an early age while the thought never occurred to most of our contemporaries.

As for people looking at us as we want to be seen, are you sure we all want to be seen the same way?

Certainly for some of us it is sexual, or at least that's the main reason for our dressing. Although there is often more to it than that.

But it seems to me that a lot of real women wear stockings for sexual reasons and men enjoy seeing them wearing for the same reason. So I still don't see why we need a warning and they don't.

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17 hours ago, ConiferousGloom said:

After rebuffing some guy that tried to pick me up once he responded "Then WHY are you dressed like a woman?" Most people don't get us, they don't understand why we do what we do: it could only be sexual! Letting people know that we aren't here for lurid pleasure is a step we need to endure if we desire, in any fashion, for people to look at us as we want to be seen. (And I look forward to receiving fewer horrible photos.)

 

Agree 100%, just another part of the "if you dress like that, you MUST be up for it, attitude" that some guys have, and this applies to anyone who likes to go out in sexy and attractive clothing.

Rikki xx

Edited by Rikki

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I asked David many moons ago to take off the 'seedy' wording...which he did in some areas but it didn't disappear totally. I don't look these days though...One thing I do know is 'Male Wearer's' just feels a little wrong these days and very dated, which as someone has already said may have been current at the time of the forums conception, but by today's standards it feels way out of touch for me. But its what we have and I allow myself to let that wash, because I like frequenting and reading the forum from time to time. 

I think those that have a need to troll here are doing so because maybe the forum isn't fulfilling what their idea this place should be/was in its conception either... ie, Full of real ladies and ladies pictures in stockings. They may have initially been OK with us '5 doors down' and keeping us segregated in a safe, out if their way area, but as things develop and 'our' community gathers pace, mixes mainstream, online and offline and acceptance in the real world is coming for being real people changes, so should the forums wording reflect that and unfortunately it seems to be stuck in time. Giving rise to those trolls who wish to exploit all the loopholes of an online community all the ammunition they need to satisfy their own ego's. Purposely trying to wreck what no longer is in their mind, their ideal forum.

One thing I do know though, having been out and about in girl mode for almost 8 years out in the real world, the same level of nastiness simply does not exist.

Nothing stays the same forever...

Lisa x

Edited by Lisa x
5 doors down, not 3...

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I don't always understand why people do things. But having met some of you at meets, I understood that I liked the person before me. That for me is the starting point. Do I like the person ? The individual ? I don't like to group people, we're all too different.

The more we look at the individual first, rather than the group, the better we'll be.

And just so you understand, I am straight and not a cross dresser, I love women in stockings. Some of the nicest people I've met are people like Rikki and Lisa ☺

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The problem and the statement may have stemmed from the chat room as many enter on a regular basis quoting they are 'dressed and looking for fun/naughty chat/pc/cam'.

So few spoil it for the many, as usual.

 

Dont worry here for one weekend only.

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I fear those of us arguing that such a warning is unnecessary have been rather undermined by the latest thread: "Newbie".

So Conifer It seems you have a stronger case than I thought.

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Why just one week flutters? Shame to lose you 🤐

 

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1 hour ago, Ursula Harrison said:

So Conifer It seems you have a stronger case than I thought.

No apology needed but if you have a bit of bleach and a nail brush handy for my eyes...

Also, as to Lisa's comment about the title of this forum no longer really being reflective of the majority of posters, I agree. It is still primarily a stockings site, we must remember, although I think our use of it as a general forum doesn't seem to do any harm.

Angela xox

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That's very gracious of you Angela, thank you.

What would you suggest for a title?

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So a cross dresser posts a pic of his bulge. I could guarantee that many of the high profile females here have received more than their share of dick pics from the various male lurkers here.  I don't believe that cd/tvs behave any differently than the rest of the male population with regard to sexual activity. So why single this community out as if they are?

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Trinity, I think you're seeing the edited version.

The original post was far more explicit.

I agree with you that there isn't much difference between crossdressing and non-crossdressing males in general with regard to this. However I have not seen a similar pic on any of the other fora here.

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I think dressing up is fun and exciting. There is nothing more to be said!

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10 hours ago, Ursula Harrison said:

Trinity, I think you're seeing the edited version.

The original post was far more explicit.

I agree with you that there isn't much difference between crossdressing and non-crossdressing males in general with regard to this. However I have not seen a similar pic on any of the other fora here.

I have seen many pics of women's underwear, indescrete frontal shots, sometimes lewd/vulgar... posted by exuberant husbands (probably without their wives/partners knowledge). Yet all that forum gets as a warning is "Keep it clean"....

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The problem with the original post wasn't the underwear but the lack of it. Plus a smaller version was being used as the avatar.

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1 hour ago, Ursula Harrison said:

The problem with the original post wasn't the underwear but the lack of it. Plus a smaller version was being used as the avatar.

I didn't see the original but the point I'm making isn't about it anyway.

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Trin, the problem is that if someone in the "regular" forums posts a photo featuring obvious feminine features its gets a thumbs up from many and nobody says "I knew it, women are just doing it for sex" Well, nearly nobody.

A photo of obvious masculine bits in this forum has a different effect on any muggle seeing it. It can reaffirm the widely held notion that all cross dressing is sex-based. When one of my CD friends comes to town on business and I pop round the hotel first before we go out, I am often branded a prostitute by smirking morons in the lift. Simply for being in a hotel!

The road to acceptance will not be paved just because we wish it, we have a lot of hearts and minds to sway. I have zero problems keeping the mouth breathers at bay to help achieve that. (In summary: yes people like that exist everywhere but they do us more damage)

Angela

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37 minutes ago, ConiferousGloom said:

Trin, the problem is that if someone in the "regular" forums posts a photo featuring obvious feminine features its gets a thumbs up from many and nobody says "I knew it, women are just doing it for sex" Well, nearly nobody.

A photo of obvious masculine bits in this forum has a different effect on any muggle seeing it. It can reaffirm the widely held notion that all cross dressing is sex-based. When one of my CD friends comes to town on business and I pop round the hotel first before we go out, I am often branded a prostitute by smirking morons in the lift. Simply for being in a hotel!

The road to acceptance will not be paved just because we wish it, we have a lot of hearts and minds to sway. I have zero problems keeping the mouth breathers at bay to help achieve that. (In summary: yes people like that exist everywhere but they do us more damage)

Angela

I think the wording on this part of the forum header helps reaffirm the notion that cross dressing is not only sex based but deviant. If David wants to apply some sort of moral principles he should do so equally.   The warning on our page should simply also state "keep it clean" !

Oh and call me Penelope or Penny.  This Trinny moniker is only cos I  needed a new handle after getting booted a hundred times for being disagreeable (with David) ..



 

Edited by Trinity

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8 minutes ago, Trinity said:

The warning on our page should simply also state "keep it clean" !
 

I can go along with that. Why do you insist on being so sensible, Penelope or Penny?

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20 hours ago, ConiferousGloom said:

I can go along with that. Why do you insist on being so sensible, Penelope or Penny?

Shhh, don't let Rowlf see this...

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