Hosierian

When stockings can be hazardous to your health!

18 posts in this topic

Let me explain the story behind the tiitle:

So, there I was driving home from one work on Friday in amongst the rush hour traffic when I noticed a lady out of the corner of my eye who was elegantly dressed,  wearing an above the knee skirt and black hose. I was sat in traffic for a few minutes at a set of lights as she walked along on up the road and out of sight. 

The lights the changed and drove off and was driving along merrily when I just happened to glance to my right and saw the same women who had obviously dropped something.  She then bent over and in doing so provided a full exposure of her stocking tops with suspenders. My eyes were so transfixed by this that I had become completely oblivious for that fleeting moment as to what was happening in the road. It was only due to a car beeping behind me that caused my attention to return to the road and be met with sheer horror as a learner driver had come to a halt only a short distance ahead me and I was propelling towards it with little time to act. My foot then practically went through the floor as I stomped on the brake, the cars ABS went bonkers in an attempt to prevent a skid and me panic stricken came out with an expletive or two whilst begging for the car to stop before impact.   

Thankfully the car came to rest only a few inches away from the learner who looked like she was in need of CPR. The instructor was gesticulating in a very unhappy kind of way and onlookers simply stared at me like I'd just violated the queen. Thankfully all that was hurt was my pride and driving awareness but thought to myself that could have been rather different and would have made for a inexcusable insurance statement. Q. Reason for rear ending other vehicle  A. Eyeing up a woman in stockings.

 

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I am sure some could make a car insurance advertisement out of this story or perhaps an encouragement ad for women to buy/wear nylons^^

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Then u woke up and had ur corn flakes 😂 😂 😂 

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There used to be sexy ladies underwear shop (Ann Summers type) on one of the towns very main roads..quite a few near misses happened as it was some twenty yards from a traffic light controlled crossroads. Some one I once worked with got rear ended outside this shop...by a police car! The excuse was that they had spotted a suspect and were busy watching him..yes of course they were. Having said that Lady S sat in the passenger seat with those fabulous legs encased in stockings can also be a distraction especially if she is showing the stocking tops which she invariably is!!!

Edited by Lord Seaton
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I do remember a driving awareness advert that had the tagline..

"Watch my rear end.... not hers!"

Rikki xx

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4 hours ago, Rikki said:

I do remember a driving awareness advert that had the tagline..

"Watch my rear end.... not hers!"

Rikki xx

Whoever thought that up is a genius lol. 

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5 hours ago, Lord Seaton said:

There used to be sexy ladies underwear shop (Ann Summers type) on one of the towns very main roads..quite a few near misses happened as it was some twenty yards from a traffic light controlled crossroads. Some one I once worked with got rear ended outside this shop...by a police car! The excuse was that they had spotted a suspect and were busy watching him..yes of course they were. Having said that Lady S sat in the passenger seat with those fabulous legs encased in stockings can also be a distraction especially if she is showing the stocking tops which she invariably is!!!

Would have loved to seen that clip appear on police camera action! 

Yes I imagine having such a pair of lovely legs in stockings alongside you is rather distracting to say the least. Its a true test of character to keep your focus in that situation:) 

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If anyone saw Miranda sitcom where she gets out the taxi and dress is caught and ripped off as it leaves.   This happened to me. But only had suspender and stockings on. Thank god it happened outside my house but to round of applause from the neighbours 

But one car driving past scrapped one parked car and hit a wheelie bin.

That was embarrassing with insurance contacts.

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Actually a decade or so ago, someone on this forum posted about a 3-car accident because the male drivers were all watching a female in stockings. Accidents happen for loads of distracted-driver reasons; not fun but that's life!

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A very, very long time ago I was driving a panda car in Birkenhead accompanied by a WPC.  She was a stockings wearer but that is a different story. It was Halloween and late evening. We were crawling along keeping an eye on a bunch of rowdy drunks when my partner shouted John look at that. Right on the edge of the pavement were two attractive women late twenties or early thirties, one dressed in a very skimpy black witches outfit and her friend in a white angel's outfit. As we drew alongside they both raised their skirts to reveal their knickers and stocking  tops. I braked and got out, just to make sure they were alright, at which point they turned round, bent over and flashed their bottoms at me. Before I could enquire as to their well being :58674be0c2f40_EmojiSmiley-06: they ran off giggling. Vanda laughingly accused me of being a pervert, however after buying her a drink in the police club I got a flash of her stocking tops.

Happy days, John B.

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Another reason to  look forward to driverless cars.

 

Mr.

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On 9/11/2017 at 8:12 PM, Lord Seaton said:

There used to be sexy ladies underwear shop (Ann Summers type) on one of the towns very main roads..quite a few near misses happened as it was some twenty yards from a traffic light controlled crossroads. Some one I once worked with got rear ended outside this shop...by a police car! The excuse was that they had spotted a suspect and were busy watching him..yes of course they were. Having said that Lady S sat in the passenger seat with those fabulous legs encased in stockings can also be a distraction especially if she is showing the stocking tops which she invariably is!!!

Would that have been in Hartlepool by any chance?

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Greetings there H and All.

Back in the 60's (1960's that is) in the days of miniskirts before pantyhose/ tights there were advantages when driving a truck or van which offered an elevated viewing position. Most folks when in the privacy of their vehicle will do that which they would not do in "public" (picking ones nose is a common example) and fashions being what they were had many a lass, whether driver or passenger not to pay much call to what was showing as well, who was to know? There were more than a few times attention to their inattention was cause for potential situations in traffic and especially US vans were not well designed then- the windshield/windscreen was quite close to those in the front and as was common practice then few wore seat belts (which again back when were a poor design with just a lap strap that did result in severe back injuries upon a sudden stop though did prevent ejections through the front glass...) I've no stats on how many distracted drivers rear ended one in front though I knew a few and admit I came close myself. On a side note, about the same time gas/petrol stations had attendants that pumped fuel for customers and often washed the front window which would also could cause a testosterone imbued fellow physiological reactions. So, yes, those were times stockings could and did present hazards to health if not directly to those susceptible. Just some insights from that Golden Age.

Best, 

Dworkin    

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Yes it was...York Road in fact..can't remember the name of the shop. I think it was a ladies name...do you remember the shop?

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On 9/25/2017 at 10:42 AM, strapps said:

Would that have been in Hartlepool by any chance?

This should have been in the above post.

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When the wife caught me wearing hers :58674bdeceb55_EmojiSmiley-03:

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Yes it was Marsh Lynne....wonder how many accidents/near misses it caused as the window displays were always "tantalizing".

Edited by Lord Seaton

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