Phil.glamour

Can you leave your husband or wife if he/she is not a stocking lover ?

23 posts in this topic

Question for men who are stocking lovers : what could be your attitude if your girlfriend or wife was not interested by stockings and would prefer wearing tights ? Could you leave her for that ?

 

Question for women who are regular wearers and for whom stockings are important : what could be your reaction if your husband or boyfriend was not sensitive to wearing stockings and your feminine attitude ? Could you leave him for that ?

 

In my experiences, I remember when I offered a complete lingerie set with suspender and stockings to my ex-girlfriend and was totally disappointed when she told me “I will never wear this !”. Difficult for a young stoking fetishist …

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Difficult one to answer, circumstances etc. could come into the equation. The best thing to do probably is to date/marry a stocking wearer. Luckily for me Lady S was a stocking wearer before we met (many, many years ago) and has thankfully continued to wear stockings except for a short break when skirts went sky high in the 60's/70's and the dreaded "T"'s were worn but she soon reverted back when hemlines dropped slightly. If the other half stops wearing once the relationship is under way I suppose it depends on various circumstances but to leave because of it could open a whole can of worms.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Easy for me as I wouldn't date a woman who wouldn't wear stockings in the first place.:58674bdf747cb_EmojiSmiley-04:

Edited by stocksandsuss
1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are supposed to be having a relationship with the woman, not her stockings.

If your partner is unaware of how important your fixation with stockings is to you, then that suggests that the problem lies with your communication skills and that you are leaving her because she does not understand how to please you intuitively.  It's not the refusal to wear stockings that is the problem, but your inability to express your desires to her.  Imagine for a moment that your partner got excited by the thought of you wearing something that you don't like (it could be all those stockings you keep buying her) and she asked you to wear whatever it was out in public for her and threatened to walk out unless you wear corduroys for her.

If the stockings are more important to you than your partner, then she should leave you. 

17 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well said, Sophie I never cease to be astonished by some of the comments here about what, in all essence, is just a bit of fun. It should be a question of loving someone for what they are, strengths and weaknesses, not for what they wear...anything extra is a bonus. I wonder what some of the men here would say if their wives insisted they wear a smart well cut suit, crisp shirt and tie and shiny unscuffed shoes...and also lost a paunch.

Perhaps I should assume that one or two of the comments (or even the original question) are tongue very much in cheek

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Phil.

Sophie has this right. As one to have spent a great deal of efforts and time trying to make square pegs fit round holes, if something perceived important is not going to work, why expend more? A partnership is multi faceted and a package deal. One must decide what is and isn't. That becomes an individual set of decisions and oft those are subject to change as people are changeable., some more than others. Another way to say- what was may not be the same as what becomes.

 

The more one advances in age the more set they usually are, less willing to adapt or accept changes. Case point: most folks know at some point what their fav foods are and eat or  order out based on those preferences. Generally, the older, the less adventurous their mouth is and in essence, they hit a "comfort zone" and by extensions, many. Related, the less one is willing to try that not familiar. 

 

To consider dissolving or leaving a relationship based on one's refusal to participate in a perhaps a narrow set of windows is fairly shallow though as all know there are many variations of circumstances involved. Some evolve together, other devolve, just a natural thing. Should this be a personal set of circumstances you may be involved in, you've some inner delving involved. As I got older and accumulated, ahem, some wisdom I began to debate the alternatives to various situations, still do. As instance, my current gig was great- I actually found a job I looked forward to going to. Until fairly of recent. Dealing now with a power freak boss that would not even make a good Swastika Woman. Stay or investigate a different gig? I'm in the "mull and ponder" mode as I know that in any confrontation there is only one likely outcome. I may only hope she pisses someone off enough to do that which I only fantasize about (and then only distantly- she is not important enough to hate) or she has an road accident or heart attach. My take is I'll find something else...

 

So, can't answer your questions directly though I may have provided insights for thoughts. Hope this helps.

 

Cheers,

Dworkin   

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Are you really asking that!! To be very blunt i would feel so totally undervalued  if you based our  relationship on me wearing stockings that i would leave you.....

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Duh. Communication. I have never been in a relationship where my partner didn't wear stockings.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Spot on Sophie, its a choice for the lady.

I believe if the relationship is strong and loving you both give and take.

If the lady is not comfortable wearing and this  sometimes may only be down to the silly stigma associated with stockings then fair enough.

But like I said if in a good loving relationship I believe most ladies would treat their partners if only on special occasions...or dare I say in the bedroom.

Oh well thats just my opinion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, I agree with "stocks and suss".

If the lady I was about to date hated stockings, I would leave.

Now this is before love and all the other stuff but the thought of no stockings and suspenders would tick me off so bad, I'd be gone.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm an old cast in iron stockings wearing lady.  I've worn stockings for 54 years.  I wore my first pair at age 11.  A pair of fully fashioned seamed stockings that I wore to school.  At the time I did not see the connection!  What connection?  The fetishistic scopophilia connection or the "Look and Gaze" reaction by other people toward me concerning what I wore and who I was.  I had no idea I was attracting attention until later in life.  So in the beginning it was all toward fashion and a way of life.  It's still a way of life for me but I've learned some things.

I recall the boys flocking in the corners at the old time drug stores looking at the Men's Magazines.  They were not looking at Life, Look, Hot Rod or Auto Round Up.  They were looking at Tip Top, Naughty Nylons and Nylon Jungle.  Here is a good example!  http://www.retrospace.org/2012/11/vintage-mens-mags-30-naughty-nylons-and.html.  I would get a kick out of the boys turning the magazines up side down in hopes of seeing what was under the panties the models wore.  This showed the other side of what stockings back in my young days and today have in common.  The look and gaze had now turned into something salacious, or now the boys found these stockings wearing magazine tarts alluring, arousing and appealing to sexual desire and imagination.  No we normal street girls wearing stockings became, in the eyes of some of those boys and people tarts by association.  That's part of the stigma or mark of disgrace associated with the quality of a woman-young lady wearing stockings these days.  Once a persons mind is made up it's going to be difficult to change.

I won't say this is the only reason for not wearing stockings issues by both men and women but it's fairly close to the top of the heap.  For a man it may be "I don't want anyone to relate my wife or girl friend to the tarts or worse yet, whores in the magazines or movies or in today's home made videos."  The woman or young lady may say to herself "What will people think of me?  Or is that man thinking about what's above my stocking tops?"  Those type of thoughts take total control over our thinking.  Once the stigmatic thoughts are sealed into our brains people become addicted to negativity.  Regardless if you are male or female the voyeurism and fetishism ideas dig into the human psychology and it's subconscious power to make people feel shame and guilt about who they are or what people think of them.  In many of these case it's the "What Will People Think Of Me" ideas that control us.  Some people are more concerned about what people think and deny themselves the opportunity to become or be who they really are or want to be.  In many cases we worry way to much about what other people think of us!

We become People Pleasers! Our feelings of security and self-confidence is based on getting the approval of others, not the approval of our mates, wives or husbands.  Deep inside they may feel their needs and actions are selfish and feel caught between guilt and anxiety.  Saying yes or no causes resentment and they are pretty much damned either way.  I'll think in those cases it would be time to sit down and talk to a professional.  Not just any professional but one that has been through the same things we, you or us are going or went through.  We may need good strong orderly direction and not advice.

On the other hand there may be people who just don't like stockings.  We have people that don't drink or like a good steak dinner and perhaps we want to ask they why?  However when the adornment of the female legs in stockings is an issue I will personally say I believe it's a psychological problem and communication may be the answer.

This is just my idea folks but I've schooled many of women and men who were once negative concerning stockings but are now okay with themselves.  My belief is you be what you want to be and don't worry about the opinions of other people whose opinions are not worth listening to.  Just saying no may be the pathway to divorce or a breakup.  Sitting down and talking and becoming a good listener may help.  Selfishness and being Self Centered may be a big problem that once talked about can be cured and a new and more powerful relationship may be made or restored.

 

Edited by HanesBaby-CSB
spelling check.
3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel that if you can find someone that you care for, and you don't drive one another crazy, then you should hold on to them with a death grip. As that scenario in itself, would be considered a life miracle.

Life is short. And although we all have an affinity for women's legwear, we have to remember that it's only a façade, a diaphanous covering on a leg.

It's the person, stoopid!

7 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for the link HanesBaby.  I remember those types of magazines.  They were very influential to developing my love of nylons.  My wife rarely wears and I wish she would but there's a lot more to her that just being a wearer.  I'd be lost without her!  I would never consider her lack of wearing as a reason to leave her.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If your relationship is based on the need or desire to wear nylons... you are probably doomed anyway.

Rikki xx

9 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, JennieJ_cd said:

Thanks for the link HanesBaby.  I remember those types of magazines.  They were very influential to developing my love of nylons.  My wife rarely wears and I wish she would but there's a lot more to her that just being a wearer.  I'd be lost without her!  I would never consider her lack of wearing as a reason to leave her.

Excellent my friend!

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was going to comment, but Rikki nailed this one...

Love is one thing, desire another, love and lust yet a third/forth... Love hopefully lasts, the others are subject to fading or change... Would you build your house on rock or sand?

Love,

Nikki.

xxx

 

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have to agree with the majority here.  The love of a woman comes first and then it is what that woman and I can enjoy in our lives together.  If she happens to enjoy wearing stockings and suspenders then I am very lucky, but if not it is not a problem as you still have each other in your lives.     

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Rikki said:

If your relationship is based on the need or desire to wear nylons... you are probably doomed anyway.

Rikki xx

I must agree with you Rikki!  You are certainly right.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Would I leave my wife if she didn't wear stockings or tights? An emphatic NO. Last November we celebrated 42 years of marriage. There has to be more to a relationship than just stockings. From the beginning she knew I enjoyed seeing a pair of legs in stockings. Every so often I ask just to make sure she hasn't changed her mind. I get my stocking fix via the Internet. She knows and doesn't hassle me. She isn't leaving me because of my desire. We live through it. Marriage is a bunch of compromises. It works for us.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To answer the two questions is simple.

No and No.

It has to be about the person, the humopur, the love, the respect, the friendship and the joy of simply being with each other are just some of the reasons why I married a beautiful girl who grew in to a magical woman, a wonderful mother and whom I'm proud to call my best friend.

The fact that she adorns stockings on occasions is a fabulous bonus and something that I let her do when she wants to and never ask now as she knows.

Oh and BTW, imagine being schooled by Susan!

Another fantastic post by The Queen of SHQ.

KtF
J :58674be234469_EmojiSmiley-08:

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Silly question.

 

Mind you, if she didn't like Indian food, out the gap with her :D

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for all your answers, I totally share the main position of us : the love f woman is the most important. The glam of stockings is just the cherry on the cake !

Intersting to read that, the women answered only the question for men, not the women one,

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I thought the question was regarding the legal position, ie can you divorce your wife giving grounds of not wearing stockings? the answer of course is No, however in some states in America it is grounds for justifable homicide

Edited by Auntiesfault
1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now