First...you're not an idiot for "trying to lie your way out of it" Mav. Until we accept ourselves, and are guilt free, it's extremely difficult to express our true thoughts and feelings.
Second...she's opened a dialogue with you, (terrific) so now it's up to her to understand and accept that the lie was the result of guilt/shame. Now that you've confessed, the guilt is gone, the lies have stopped, so get over it woman. Do not allow her to hold the lie over you.
Third...she said she doesn't mind you wearing, so believe her and give her the opportunity to be true to her words. Wear when and where you please.
Fourth...rules that are fair and just for both parties are fine, but don't let her dictate rules to you. Be respectful of each other, but don't bow to senseless inhibitions, fears, or demands. You'll both regret it if you do.
As Michelle CD mentioned, life can get better from here, but you both have to work together for that to happen.
NOTE: I'm not a shrink, but since you asked for advice, that's my two pence worth.